love is another lousy four letter words.

i never believe that love could have such a great effect on one's life.

like crying all night long after being dumped, or crying just because listening to your love song while the love of your life is somewhere beyond the globe having fun with his friends.

and there were you. crying and missing them.

i believe love is all about being curios.

like, you really wanna know how was it to be a mom, so you get preggy or simply adopted a child and send them back to where they from.

okey, lousy comparison.
but you do get the point. dont you?

when seeing a couple who could live long enough being together till the last day of their life and still being nice towards each other, i believe it's all because they care. and on top of all just because they are human and they are not cruel.

and when you miss them, it's all because being with them for all this time have some effects on you. because you're always together. all the time.

it's totally suck lah kan if you can't feel lost for something or someone that you've been together for a long time kan?

but when i watched somethings gotta give for the second time, i believe i don't wanna end up like harry.

because harry is the male version of me. and some part of erica does reflected me.

i do enjoy my believe. that at this young age, we should be happy, flirtatious, and be playful with everybody who you feel like to. because at the end, we only will get married with one person and striving to live with them for the rest of our life.

so, just have fun with the person you're currently emotionally bonded with.
or flirting with.

the keyword is : just have fun.

but, seriously i don't wanna be female version of harry. no. no.

maybe i'm just being too safe. and i'm being too protective of myself from being played by another female hunter out there.

ouhh. i dont want to be like erica who is crying when she was writing, when she woke up from sleep, whe she did everything. just everything! because she is heartbroken.

is there really any girls out there like her?

that's why i dont believe in the power of love. love makes people suffer. so much that it hurts. based on my observation.


but now. i think i should started to believe that the effects of love do exist. i mean love between two different people who is not related by anything.


so now,
i should open my heart to let it be heartbroken.
i should care for another human being who is totally not related to me but claimed that we're emotionally bonded.
i should be jealous or pretend to be jealous.
i should let myself out.
i should accept that person more. as he himself. cause i always love to change people.
i should show more emotion. more tears, less stubborn.
i should be more loveable.
i should be less distant and cold.

i should open myself to that particular person.





later.




not now.






i'm not ready.


and i still just wanna have fun.


.