no matter how bitchy i am, i want you to know that i love you.

since i was very young, my world always revolved around a very few special people. up until now, i only reserved few places for a very few special people to enter my small world.

because my world is so small that even a little damage could cause a massive destructions.

i always love my childhood. it is full of joy, laughter, and sometimes a very tragic comedy. and i am always be the victim. but, it's okay. because i love them.

these two people, angah and dekla. they are the coolest siblings in a coolest family ever existed and i am very very thankful to God that i met them and let them enter my world and i could step into their world too.

i can't remember how we could get close but all i know is, they have been there since the day i was born and always been with me until i was fourteen (before i move to my new house and before angah flies to ukraine).

we have spent so much time together. i remember this one time, i was playing hide and seek with angah and we were running around the house and i remembered that we fell onto some cactus trees but i couldn't recall what was happening to us after we fell.

and few years back, my mom told me that i have been in emergency room because i fell on to the cactus trees. no wonder i couldn't recall what happened next because at that time, i was already fainted. and angah is with me.

then, i remembered that when i was in standard one, i was washing my shoes outside the house and there was angah, bored. so he asked me to play a game. the game is called mari-pura-pura-konon-konon-berudu-berudu-ini-adalah-pesalah-yang-akan-dihukum-mati.

i am not kidding you, he arranged all the tadpoles in a row and i be the king that gave him instructions to kill all those tadpoles that did wrong [what are their fault, that i don't know] and angah be the algojo and he put the tadpoles on a pisau lipat yang tiga puluh sen tu and SNAP! the tadpoles is divided into two.

it was tragic, but it is fun. dekla was very mad when she knew that we were killing the tadpoles. dekla is an environmentalist.

talking about dekla, she is the most beautiful girl i have ever met. she has a very long and thick eyelashes, with a big round black eyes, a nice trim eyebrows, a soft, curly, long hair, model-figure body, an oblong shape face, full pouty small lips, and a nose like a hindustani. and her skin is so nice its neither dark or fair. just nice.

dekla is beautiful and a very kind-hearted person. we used to go to school together. i always love to listened to her story about her life, and her problems. she never be mad at me. she never complaints about how stubborn i am and she always been very patient and lovely towards me.

dekla taught me a lot of things about life and friendship, about boys, i always love her jokes. [angah and dekla are truly siblings because their jokes always could make me burst into a huge laughter]

there are a lot of things that we have done together. it is not enough for me to write it in here. they brightened my childhood, they make my childhood a great things to be remembered, they make me thankful for being me. and they are who made me into what i am now.

i remembered that everytime i was being scolded by my parents, i always wished that i was born in their family. that is how great their impacts in my life.

but, every good things have to come to an end, there were a few misunderstanding that lead to something else.

and it's all ended when my family moved out from the housing area (Well, it's not because of anything just that my parents bought a new house but pretty much it affected our relationship since we can't meet each other everyday like we always do)

i miss them dearly. i miss my childhood. they are my rainbows. it is almost five years that we have not spending time together, and i have not seen angah for almost six years since he has been in ukraine.

i heard that he is coming back for housemanship this september. angah is going to be a doctor!!

ouh, to Angah and Dekla i miss you guys dearly. i wish i could turn back the time and fix everything but i just can't.


anyway, you guys are always been my favourite memories.

to all my friends [the girlfriends in SMKDH you know who you are, the girlfriends in Beseri (marleya, sheda, and lee), and my girlfriends in UTP (you know who you are kan? including the coursemates)

people come and leave, to those who stays, i am very thankful that you guys are here being with me. i am just very thankful that i could know you in my life. i am very thankful that i met you guys. and i wanted you to know, that i love you with all my heart. once i let you in my life, you would always be there. always. forever and ever. despite my annoying attitude, my hurtful words, my overreacted reactions, i do really love you. you guys are my rainbow that coloured my life.

i had enough losing my favourite person and i don't want it to happen ever again. i would try to be nicer if it what it takes to make you guys stay.

i am very glad and thankful that you guys always accepted me the way i am and be patient with me.

please don't give up on me.


friends,
i love you and i thank you very much.

.