Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Nothing Personal, It's So Random.

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I really love how you could make up to that special person after you were having a real bad argument. I love how you could forget the argument and focus back on the important and happy things, I love how the unicorn and rainbows are back again in your life and your giddy self feel all warm and cozy inside knowing that things are better now.

That's why sometimes I really love to argue with my special person.

But I also despise the fact that when you really love someone, you become all clingy and needy but you can't be together because both of you have more important stuffs to do. It's like, it's killing you inside knowing that you couldn't do anything to ease up the situations. All you could do is hoping the storms would end soon and bring back your knight with shining Audi so you could be happy and content again.

That's why I always keep a certain distance, I built wall because of this, but since the walls has been crashed, I'm crushing too.

I also wonder why people change to a totally different person, to the person they swore they would never be, and felt that nothing had happened. I am not saying that I am not changing, I know that people grow, but I hate the fact that somehow when people grow, they grow apart, the sparks are no longer there, all left is an empty and dull heart, feelingless. A tired heart that  won't give any care for whatever happen anymore, the tired heart, a sore from unstoppable tears, a tired heart that refused to give up from continuous battle and still want to fight.

A heart can wait, but it can't wait forever. A heart is flexible, but it will gets tired.

I can't wait for this two weeks to end. It's not that I'm prepared, but I am tired. My brain, my heart, my body, it's all aching now. I need a good sleep. A good long sleep. It's like I want to sleep forever till these aches and pains go away.

But I know I couldn't do that. I need to keep fighting.

Somehow, I wish to have imaginary company, so it could lend its shoulder, it could lend its ear, it could lend itself to me. But, that would bring me somewhere near the mental hospital ;)

Well, what to do, I'll be my own knight with my not so shining Kelisa, I'll make up my own rainbows and unicorns, I'll be what I want to be, and I will try to fight while I still can (even I know I've been knocked out few times already, but I'm trying here!)

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4 comments:

B. said...

i love your writing belle. :)

mireya said...

aww thank you bil ! ;D

nurfaizah said...

one word, best! :D

mireya said...

aww thanks jah ! ;)