Monday, January 17, 2011

The Cliché .. Blerghhh

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1. Dalam any series yang melibatkan a group of friends macam How I Met Your Mother, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Gossip Girl, dan One Tree Hill, eventually, setiap orang dalam dalam series tu akan fall for one another. Contoh macam Private Practice, mula mula Montgomery fall for Pete, then Pete to Violet, Naomi to Bennet, Bennet to Naomi after Naomi to George, then Bennet to Montgomery, Gossip Girl pulak, Nate to Blair, Nate to Serena, Nate to Jenny, Nate to Vanessa. HIMYM - Ted to Robin, Robin to Barney.

The formula is the same, keep on CIRCULATING like female menstruation.

2. Macam kat atas, the member will sleep with another member then confuse great sex with love. Contoh sama je macam kat atas dah nama pun konon-konon fall in love kan, they'd be sleeping with each other la until they've got something to fight about or someone else to fall for.

3. Dulu kita bising kata Sembilu yang Hetty Sarlene and Zed Zaidi berlakon tu lame amat like bohongnyeee bercinta kat sekolah menengah then melarat sampai tua bangka ada anak cucu beranak pinak bila cucu nak kahwin pun masih dilema sebab atuk dengan nenek tak boleh lupa cerita cinta zaman tingkatan empat tahun 1961. Well, kat Hollywood pun sama je tapi sebab kita ni manusia bias yang suka kutuk negara and drama and filem sendiri so kita tak nampak. Ye lah HOLLYWOOD or anything made from the western kan semua OH-AWESOME-BELAKA like oh my God so original and sampai kena worship bagai.

Tak percaya ? One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl, dua dua tu cerita cinta sekolah menengah cuba tengok One Tree Hill lagi gila sampai melarat bagai. Gossip Girl ? You do all that waktu you sekolah menengah ? Like WOW nye we accept it sebab what, oh ye it's their culture kan hantar gossip through webbie yang dorg subscribe guna their smart phone kalau Malaysia buat cerita cinta sekolah menengah melarat kita kata merepek why don't we accept tu memang culture and what really happened in Malaysia and kalau kita kata it's lame memang what happens around us is lame and memang budaya kat Malaysia ni lame, we're living in lame and boring atmosphere pun nak buat macam mana kan ?

4. Wow sorry point no 3 is sooo panjang and emo, Geram.

5. Back to the points, selalunya kalau scene dalam kelas, walaupun the scene start with the teacher baru masuk kelas and cakap "Okay students, open page 6676827897," lepas tu the teacher cakap la a few ayat bla bla then tiba tiba ada budak kerasukan dalam kelas tu then turn out 'oh, it's a dream and I'm in a class now, I just got into class but I've been dreaming already' lepas tu time dia kerasukan tadi mesti kelas kecoh and tengok belakang (sebab budak kerasukan atau buat benda mengarut sampai terkantoi dengan cikgu selalunya duduk belakang) then bila cikgu datang dekat nak tanya what happened tiba tiba bunyi loceng then budak tu akan blah padahal cikgu baru start mengajar kot.

Scene dalam kelas memang selalunya akan berakhir dengan bunyi loceng, if the main actor or actress is in the class at the particular time.

6. Kalau cerita ala penyiasatan macam House sebab dia nak siasat penyakit, kira penyiasatan la tu kan, or cerita macam Castle and Bones, selalunya they will find the final clue for solving crime when someone tersalah cakap or cakap apa apa benda yang tak ada kaitan tapi the lead suddenly noticed yang benda tu related like out of the blue tiba tibe, oh !

BAM ! You've got the answer ! Tak percaya tengoklah. Kalau that episode ada lagi sepuluh minit nak habis tapi they claimed that they've solved the crime or agak agak dah give up, mesti formula di atas akan digunakan.

7. Kalau cerita Korea pulak, okay tiba tiba masuk pasal Korea kan, ah tak kira I'm in raging mode now tengah geram lantak ah nasibbbb !

Cerita Korea punya formula sama je, the heroine, the girl is a clumsy girl, socially awkward, and selalu buat benda mengarut in public and akan diminati oleh dua lelaki yang muka hensem tahap dewa tapi selalunya the other guy kurang hensem sikit je berbanding dengan the hero. Lepas tu macam biasalah berebut kan then akan ada watak perempuan jahat muka runcing anak orang kaya (sebab heroin anak orang miskin paling tipikal anak petani ke anak penjual sayur or anak nelayan) muka sentiasa masam and ala evil bitch yang selalu buat plan tapi plan tak jadi.

Sehensem mana pun the other guy, the heroine akan tetap fall for the hero.

Selalunya cerita korea MANY GUYS would chase after a clumsy girl yang muka dia comel sikit je dari Angeline Tan waktu muda muda. And hero dia mesti kaya gilaaaa punya ada kereta besar bagai syarikat sendiri padahal umur baru enam belas dah jadi CEO sama je macam cerita SEMBILU tapi Sembilu kena bash cerita Korea macam kena worship,

8. Cerita Jepun jugak yang awesome.

9. And cerita Malaysia keluaran Red Films. Tu memang terbaik.

10. Cerita Hollywood with the worst acting ever are : Camp Rock 1 and Fired Up. Serious BAD ACTING GILA BABS. Kalau korang rasa tak pernah tengok cerita Hollywood yang ala Razak Mohaideen punya movie yang full of new actors and actresses yang baru habis SPM tapi dapat berlakon sebab muka lawa and handsome tapi berlakon keras macam kayu bakau orang nak buat piling, tengok lah cerita tu. Kompem korang automatik akan rasa kagum dengan diri sendiri sebab dapat differentiate bad acting and akan rasa Hollywood ni tak perfect mana pun rupanya.

11. Lagi satu, kalau tengok cerita yang lead actors dia tak suka each other macam The Proposal, selalunya they'll end up together and the movie will be full of repetitive jokes and awkward WTF moments macam like the other similar movie.

12. How bad the girl/man lie about their lives and background, they'd always be forgiven by the other party.

13. Usually the truth is right under your nose. (applied to thriller, or murder case, mystery macam The Tourist - eh misteri ke ? Belasahh )


Okay raging sampai sini dulu kalau jumpa benda lain sambung kat another entry. Sebenarnya I'm quite tertekan sebab tengok cerita and notice the same lame formula so macam urgh stress out gilaaa babs gini sebab dah hilang rasa saspen kan so, biar saya sebarkan negative vibes kat korang so korang rasa tertekan sama.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !


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5 comments:

faizunnisaqsulman said...

huhuhu. somehow it makes sense. ahaha

mireya said...

i know right ? hahaha :P

Anonymous said...

kenapa review cite sinetron indon takde padahal itu yg paling menyampah !

Juli said...

hahaha..the sembilu one mmg tak leh blah. padahal real life ade jer cmtu..mungkin annoyed tgk lakonan 2 hero-heroin tu kott

mireya said...

anon :
ada noksss i story mory pasal cite indon, taun lepas rasanya post tuu. kalau rajin, selak balik post2 lama. heee

plus, semua org ingat western tu perfect sangat. BORING LA.


Juli :
Agaknya kot, kesian kat zed zaidi and hetty sarlene. hahaha