Saturday, September 17, 2011

17. Something That You're Proud Of

Urm, I wanna say that I am proud of myself, but that would be too vain. Ahah NO, I don't really proud of myself because I'm not the people that you'd call "Nice" or "Lovely". Yes, I know the fact very well.

So, I'm very proud of my crowd. The people surrounding me. My family, my friends, my boyfriend. I thanked God everyday for having them in my life. You see, being me, you don't get friends easily. My life is surrounded by walls, I built walls, and I only let a few in.

In my class, I have talked only to a few people, mainly for the sake of asking questions and merely for just talking. I don't talk much in class, and I don't talk to strangers. I don't know how to start a normal conversation. Mostly people found me weird cause sometimes I could talk nicely like we've known each other for years, but sometimes I would be cold, as cold as an ice.

I am not friendly, seriously I'm not.

So that's one of the reason why I have such a small crowd. And mostly my crowd is the same crowd I've been with for the past years. I always choose to stick with the same person for years, because somehow I know these people are the strong people who knows me and they could always stand me (not that I'm taking them for granted). I am always amazed by how they could stand my attitude. I'm not nice. I know I'm not and I know most of you who know me would tell me the same. Yes, I am not nice. That's why when people could stand me and be my friends, and when my boyfriend could stand me, I am impressed, amazed, and somehow confused, but I would always be grateful. And that's why I am proud of them. Because I know, not many people could stand someone like me.

I'm not the caring type, but I am gifted with the most caring people I've ever met. They'll ask you about your day. They'll noticed when your facial expressions change. They'll listen carefully to your problems, they'll always be there when you need them. There's no way I could repay their love and sincerity.

That's why I'm proud of them.

I'm proud of my family, friends, and boyfriend for the reason that they could stand me no matter how bad I treated them, no matter how cold I get, they always managed to make my heart warm again. No matter how I misbehave, they will always there, always.

To everybody (you know who you are, I hope) I am thankful to God for having you in my life, thanks for the love and care, thanks for standing beside me all the way, thanks for always be there, thanks for understanding, thanks for not leaving. I can't change myself, you know how hard I tried but I just can't. I'm not a nice person, I could never be as nice as the person you know. I would always be the imperfect me, and thanks for loving my imperfection.

So to my family, friends, and the significant other,
I just want you guys to know, that I am always proud of you guys. No matter what you guys do, no matter what. Because for standing my attitude is not something that everyone could do, most people leave. But you guys stay. Thanks, thank you very much.

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